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Song of the Week - December 8th, 2008

This is a good time to clean your coffee maker. Fill reservoir with 1 part white vinegar, 2 parts water and brew. This will get rid of stains and mineral deposits. Really makes a difference in the taste.

So simple, so elegant, so effective. Fill hurricane candle containers or medium size vases with water and holly berry leaves and a floating candle for a beautiful table centerpiece.

By Caroline Connors

The Christmas season is upon us and with that comes the realization that we will have to let people into our homes at some point during the next month. I believe I speak for many when I say that there is no small amount of anguish involved in holiday entertaining.

For starters, there is a disparity between real life and what we see in magazines and on television that our media-influenced brains often fail to comprehend. We are brain-washed to believe that, with just a little organization and a few extra minutes a day, we too can bake up scrumptious surprises for our co-workers, decorate the house “green” with objects found from foraging through the woods with our small children skipping happily in tow, and host a festive multi-coursed dinner party that includes whimsical napkins holders and classic cocktails served shaken, not stirred.

What we are not privy to, however, is the behind-the-scenes action that takes place before the airbrushed images hit our doorstep each month. While these hostesses are busy preparing for the big day, are their husbands suddenly announcing that they will tearing out a wall/rewiring the house/[insert your long-awaited home project here]? Do they have little ones who announce, while standing on the freshly cleaned living room carpet, “My tummy hurts,” and physically demonstrate that fact before their mothers can whisk them away to the bathroom?

We don’t see life’s little disasters on the pages of “Martha Stewart Living,” of course, but rest assured that there are mothers tearing their hair out all over the country at any given point between now and January 2. I think every mother’s mantra during the holiday season should be “I am not alone;” misery loves company, and I mean that in the best possible way. While we are all shooting for the best possible outcome, it is the “oops” moments that we remember most vividly and are able to laugh about years later. Like our stories of labor and delivery, we take special pride in our personal tales of pre-Christmas debacles.

I have heard accounts of Christmas trees that have fallen through the night, leaving a path of destruction in their wakes, of frozen hams and turkeys that refuse to thaw despite hours roasting in the oven, and of chickenpox outbreaks right before the much-anticipated out-of-town guests are due to arrive. The common denominator in all these stories, however, is our tenacity: mothers may wail in despair and even shed a few tears, but only before they roll up their sleeves, don the rubber gloves, strap the broom to their leg and move on to Plan B. One of the miracles of Christmas for mothers with young children is managing to get it all done without losing their sanity or their senses of humor.

Sometimes our better halves come to the rescue. I remember a moment from my childhood as my father “helped” my mother make her famous shrimp dip for 30 guests, only to ruin the entire batch, as the wooden spoon he wielded was ground up in the blender. When we are hosting a party, my husband transforms into either the white tornado or the Tasmanian devil, I’m not quite sure which one, spinning through rooms and changing things while I’m not looking. In 19 years of marriage and umpteen holiday gatherings, I have learned to graciously accept his help as we perform our routine sidestep dance in the kitchen and I pray for patience.

I have been hosting parties since I was in high school, not because I am particularly great at it but probably because I don’t fear it as much as others do. I am a big-picture hostess: my focus is on good food and enough of it, clean bathrooms and making people feel comfortable while they are in my home (though not necessarily in that order). I almost never get around to the details of creating a “signature” cocktail or designing a thematic tablescape involving paperwhite narcissus, but I figure that will come in time, if I’m not too tired when my kids are grown.

So take a deep breath, throw away the magazines and throw open the door. Invite your family and friends over and remember the cardinal rule of entertaining: your guests are so happy to be at your house and not their own that they are willing to overlook just about anything.